Before I start, I apologize to all my readers that I went off blogging. Because of my workload, as a nutritionist and a cinematographer, was working around the clock which I love to do but this ‘Hustle’ mismanaged my other content and I think I disrespected my audience by making them wait. I will try to be more regular now. Also, thanks to my friend (“jhontyshots” on Instagram) who reminded me to start blogging again.
Story-time: Last year, before purchasing my car, I sat and calculated all my expenses and jot down a column with pros and cons of a four-wheeler in a city like Pune and then I decided to invest in a depreciating asset. It was my first four-wheeler after settling down in Pune and me in an elated mood, posted about it on social media. My aim was to share my happiness with my audience, but some of them took it as a ‘show-off’, and one of the guys, who’s girlfriend was my friend, took this as a challenge and very next day he went to the showroom and purchased a new car, same model as of mine, to show that even he can do it. This was later told to me by his girlfriend who also added that “he is super jealous of you and he tries his best to compete with you in every way”. I was like, “I don’t even care, and all I wish is happiness to that guy”.
But then last month, I got to know that he had to sell off his car because he couldn’t clear EMIs and was in debt.
Now, this case is not the end of the story, I have seen people around me taking up new career options just to earn some extra bucks so that they can prove they are better than that one person who doesn’t even care. And then they suffer from depression and other mental health problems upon realizing that the purpose of life is not to compete with others all the time. Many such cases like dating a hot girl, going on a crash diet, purchasing new expensive gadgets, watches, etc. can be observed around you where people take the impulsive decision out of nothing but Jealousy.
From your POV, you might see it as a competition which is forcing you to grow, but the problem with such competitions is that they not only harm your peace but it hurts the people around you as well. Imagine a family where the wife is doing impulsive shopping just to show off other people in her WhatsApp group and society, she is harming her mental peace, she is making her kids pick-up such bad habits and she is indirectly forcing her husband to take up such tasks in his office which is not of his interest but just so that he can earn some extra bucks to keep the “wife” happy. Or a scenario where a person is going on a crash diet for those abs to show-off out of jealousy and hence, harming his metabolism and gaining back all the lost weight like a balloon.
If you have such traits and you know it (while reading this blog). The first thing is to accept, to be self-aware of such characteristics. I won’t say it is ‘ok’ to have such traits, but such attributes are prevalent among groups. Even right now, you must be having an image of a person in your mind who possess such ‘jealous’ of everything habits.
What can we do to reverse engineer such habits?
- As mentioned above, first accept the fact that you have an issue of jealousy
- The second step – find the source of this jealousy. Ask yourself, why are you like this? It is something your parents fed you in your childhood or is it something you developed over time? Or is it related to someone whom you don’t like at all? For example, Male friend of your girlfriend/wife, Female friend of your husband/boyfriend, your cousin or someone who is trolling you consistently on social media?
- Now, you have understood the source of this habit, this jealousy trait. Time to check why this particular person makes you insecure? Is the person more handsome or pretty than you? Is the person wealthier than you? Is the person more skilled than you? More talented?
After calculating all the stuff, it is time for the real reverse engineering process which says – Stop focusing on the qualities of that person instead start focusing on how that person is. Is he ready to help you? If he an empathetic person? If he is approachable? If yes, make use of it. Show a genuine interest and learn from that person instead of being jealous. This way, you will build a new relationship, new network and trust among the group.
The day you will stop ‘being jealous’ of others, your personal growth will catapult-like anything. More and more people will join you, will talk to you, will approach you because a non-jealous person is liked by everyone.
If you think you got such traits and you want to talk about it, go to contact page and send me an email. Let’s march towards better lifestyle together.