How to Make Easy Money 101

Looks like this is the most awaited article! I ran a poll on Instagram asking “Blog on how to make easy money” and 98% of my followers voted Yes. Wow!

Well, not your fault, who doesn’t want easy money? There is a reason why we see scams and things like ’25 din mein paisa double’ schemes around us.

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Time to learn how. Here we go:

  1. Open a Blog: The easiest way to earn money is to open a blog. Start writing clickbaity articles on your blog with topics like ‘how to increase your timing during sex’ or ‘How to revive the deleted WhatsApp chats’ or ‘How to spy on your girlfriend’s phone’ or ‘How to lose fat in 7 days’ (just copy-paste from some random blog) And then at the same time sign up on Google AdSense and other blog ad services and fill your blog with at least 12 ads at a time. Pop-ups, banner, hidden links, click links, just spam as much as you can. Waste the time of user because he is already trapped in the clickbait game of yours. And don’t forget to spam each and everyone in your contact list with your blog link. Also, tell friends to click on each and every ad whenever they open your blog. This way you will make easy money that too in dollars, the only side effect is that your friends will start avoiding you and some of them might block you as well.
  2. Sell online courses: This starts with changing your Instagram bio to ‘Entrepreneur’  ‘Life-Coach’ with hashtag hustle and motivation. Now, you must be having a friend with some expensive car? Get a photo clicked inside it with some fake ray bans and waxed up hair. Collect some pictures of travelling on a flight and boarding passes. Ask your friends to lend you every self-help book possible and click a picture with it without reading it. Now start posting them on your Instagram one by one with the same hashtags (hustle and motivation), upload pictures of quotes by Arnold, Tai Lopez, etc as well. Go to a nearby night club and beg models to click a picture with you, post that as well. In the meanwhile, buy 20k Instagram followers from some agent. Now you are ready. Open your laptop (if you got one or use a phone) and start writing plagiarized tips of growing business picked up from some book or blog or any desi youtube channel. Convert this into a pdf file and announce on your Instagram that you are selling a course on ‘How to become an Entrepreneur’, ‘How to pick up girls’, ‘How to become rich in six months’, ‘How to spread cancer in 6 steps’, etc. and sell it for 6500 INR a copy. Additional tip: Do not step out of the home without a three-piece suit and a tie else people will get to know your scam. Always be ready for a meeting.phir-hera-pheri-paisa-hi-paisa-hoga-meme-template.jpg
  3. Join some multi-level marketing firm: It is very easy to join such firm, just stand in your balcony and throw a stone, it will hit some kind of ‘Deepak Sir‘ and he will convince you to join MLM. Now what to do after joining? Call your long lost friend who you never called in the last 4 years, ask him how he is doing, how’s life and how’s everything. That’s it. Keep the phone. He should feel happy that you called after such a long time. After 5 days call him in back, He should feel the surprise again, he will start thinking that you are trying to spark the fire of friendship again just like those old times. Talk some bs and keep the phone saying ‘Bro, I have to attend a meeting’. Now, the third time, he will call. Cut the call saying ‘I am in a meeting bro”. Eventually, he will ask, ‘Bro what meetings keeping you so busy????’ Time to trap your friend giving the example of ‘Deepak Sir‘ and how he is driving an Audi at the age of 23. Scam your friend into this and take his hard-earned savings (which he was saving for further education and for his parents) to put into this shit. You will earn good commission.
  4. Sell fake products: This is easiest. Like it won’t even take an inventory or any warehouse rent or similar thing. Just reach out to some Indian working in China or go-to black market of Delhi/Mumbai, get a list of products which can be easily faked like protein supplements, makeup products, A copy shoes, ray bans, caps, etc. And start selling them direct to consumer on Instagram. Do remember to sell them without trying them on yourself and remember to generate a fake bill copy through photoshop every time you sell such products.
  5. Play with People’s Insecurity: The best way to sell anything is that first start playing with people’s insecurity by creating self-image issues in them and creating fear in them. How? A simple example: Gain around 20kg of muscle mass by taking steroids and growth hormone injections. Now you are ready! Start posting on Instagram and other social media how people are weak and start body shaming them by personally poking them. They will ask you ‘Bro how do I get fit?’ Sell them some balm or fake powder. As simple. They will come back with ‘Sir nothing helping’. Time to charge them 30k for a diet chart. Don’t forget to add 15gm of BCAA’s in the chart. And at the same time take herbolife membership. Add that liver-damaging powder in diet chart for weight loss.
  6. Start posting booty pics. Only Booty Pics: The best way to gain followers (read: beta thirsty followers) is to give them a daily dose of your booty. They will start orbiting around you with their tongue out. And when you get more than 60k such beta thirsty followers, sell them detox tea or maybe some other tea. More and more brands will approach you, tell them ‘I got 60k plus followers, I will charge bomb’. Till the time they will realize what kind of followers you got, you will be rich.

I know only these six tips. Please share/comment if you got more such tips.


I could have ended the blog right above this line but I have a message for all the innocent and young readers, first of all, this is a sarcastic blog. Do not take things in a literal sense, please. We are already surrounded by so many scammers around us that it is literally difficult to make an authentic space for yourself. From Sales/Marketing to Fitness industry, every other person is scamming someone in order to make easy money.

Before you decide to make easy money, think of 20 years ahead. Will you be a respected person in society? Will your friends and family respect you? Or will you be tagged as a scammer? or someone who irritates a lot for few bucks? Why 20 years? Because in this period you might get married, you might make kids. They will grow up and they will need a Mom/Dad whom they can respect not someone who is a reason behind they get bullied in school. Think about this. Easy money is a myth. Good money and Good image in society come simultaneously with developing authenticity and the value you provide to people. We respect only those who are genuinely doing their job to help people, like, the good behaved uber driver, the good behaved delivery guy, the electrician who says ‘Bhaiya call me anytime if you are facing any issue’, the doctor who says, “I am there for you, don’t worry”, the dietitian who says, “Have patience, you will get fit soon”. Become that person.

 

Always available in DM for you!

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