When I asked you people about choices between four blog topics, you people voted for “How to Talk to Anyone” the most. Well, It made me a bit nervous about my content quality and I took some time to research this topic. And while doing research, I came across many books and youtube videos made by self-help gurus in all languages. All of them sold this ‘talk to anyone’ technique on the basis of how one can sell a product or how to act like a salesperson. 98% of material over the internet is teaching about the ‘acting’ part of being an extrovert and talk to anyone around you. BUT, being a former introvert myself, I know, such acting skills are difficult to learn, especially when you are not into sales job or when there is no ‘force’ behind you to learn such skills.
And then, I stopped reading the articles over the internet any further and did some introspection. I observed myself and on my past about how I broke the barrier of being an introvert and managed to talk to people around me. It was majorly hit and trial method but I noted down a few points which could help you also in the long run. Also, I want to discuss you about these things that’s why the topic of this article is “The Discussion”
Discussion 1: “Talking to someone new person” skill takes a lot. We just do not know how to start a basic conversation. I mean we know it starts with “Hi” (or may be with ‘what up’ in pop language) but we don’t know how to say that “Hi” first. The fear of introducing ourself to a new person gives that pain in the chest. So how do we over come this fear? Two ways:
- By Practicing on other people who are indirectly or technically on the low hierarchal level in the society like our security guards, drivers, maids or local cigarette/tea shop guy. These people are very approachable and always up for talks. You can talk to them about anything in politics, local area happenings, or about their families. Practicing on these people will somewhat break your fear of approaching new people who are on similar or on the top level of hierarchy in the society.
- By improving yourself in terms of looks, speech, eye contact and dressing sense. It is as basic as it gets. Do we like it when someone in shabby clothes approaches us in the public? Of course not. Same way, people won’t like you if you approach them with shabby appearance, if you are smelling bad (maybe because of smoke) or if you are not able to make eye contact while approaching someone. It shows lack of confidence plus it generates distrust in opposite person’s mind.
Discussion 2: “Why do you want to talk to a new person?” – Are you selling or asking for donation or something? People will back away. No one likes when those Unicef interns approach you in shopping malls and we absolutely despise people who approach us to buy a new credit card or something similar. (I am not demeaning the job of such people. But the truth is, no one likes them)
Are you approaching someone for a date or maybe for a conversation? If yes, you are doing so because you are genuinely interested in that person. We love it when some random person shows interest in us (not as a creep), which makes this discussion simple – Be interested in other person. How? Talk about things which they take care of knowing that people might not notice. For example: I would comment on someone nails. Or their Shoes, or maybe their fresh cut moustache or about an attractive sticker on their vehicle or on their fitness (in a good way obviously) .
Discussion 3: “Hi! My name is Chirag and I stay in next building”
He replied, “Yeah so what are you selling?” – Weird. In today’s time when people run away from multi-level marketer (because they only introduce themselves like this), do not introduce yourself like this. Always start the conversation on basis of the thing you are interested in that person. Examples I already discussed in discussion 2. Conversation starters play a major role. In fact, even on dating apps like Tinder, the chances of getting a reply on “Hi” is too less. “Hi” is boring. Start your conversation with something else.
Discussion 4: Be worthy enough so that the person who is your target shows at-least 20% interest in you. Basic example: You are at some party or club. You want to approach this woman sitting alone with her alcohol mixed with 4 spoons of sugar syrup. Now, what are the chances that she would take even 5% interest in you? Are you good looking? Are you fit enough? Does your dressing sense make you look like you are coming from a family of addicts? Do you have knowledge about politics or science or you will just end up talking about the new web series? Ask these questions to yourself. Are you worthy enough? If yes, go approach. If not, give yourself 3-6 months and make yourself worthy.
That’s all. I am up for discussions and debates on these four discussion on my email and Instagram DM.
Hit me up.