Firstly, I want to thank all of you who responded to me on Instagram, Facebook & WhatsApp to my question ‘What are the major reasons people / you get insecure?”. The inputs really helped me to piece this article together. Also, thank you Chirag for giving me an opportunity to post my work on your website and share it with a larger audience.
Most of you might be wondering why I chose this topic. Let me answer that!
So lately, from a few months, in most of the relations & situations that I have been in – I had this unfamiliar feeling like I am not giving my best. Like not being a perfectionist in everything. This left me with a feeling of dejection at the end of the day and I was never happy. It took me months to understand that I was a victim of my own insecurities and I learned how to curb them for good. Now, that I have come out of my insecurities and learned to embrace all the situations that come in my way with elegance & confidence – my world seems to have changed. I am more happy & satisfied with whatever I have and the only priority in my life is to become a better version of myself. Other’s progress does not make me feel insecure but it makes me feel motivated.
The competition is with me and not with anyone else. This makes a difference.
Now, I want to help people who might be suffering with the same situation. Hence, I chose to write about ‘Understanding Your Insecurities’.
Let us discuss the following points in this article.
What is Insecurity?
Insecurity is lack of confidence. Few of the examples that suggest that you have insecurity are:
Insecurity in Relationships
- You are always misunderstood
- Everything is your fault
- Your partner does not care for you
- You’re better off on your own
Insecurity in Workplace
- You do not know what you are working for
- You are always stressed
- You are always lazy and do not complete tasks on time
Insecurity amongst friends & family
- You are not as good-looking
- You are too fat or thin
- You do not have as much money & success
Is Insecurity Good or Bad?
Firstly, it is important to understand that insecurity is not a disease or a mental issue. At one point of time, everyone of us has been insecure about stuff. Be it, insecure about loosing a partner in relationship, insecure about loosing respect amongst peers, insecure about not achieving success, insecure about trusting anyone, insecure about looking good and so on…
Insecurities are motivational when perceived positively but extremely poisonous when perceived negatively.
Yeah, I know you are wondering why I said this. Let me explain it.
Insecurities when taken positively will motivate you. Example: You see someone more successful than you. Instead of being insecure about your own progress, take the higher road and get some motivation and sit with yourself and understand what you are good at. Like what are you really really good at? It can be anything – cooking, dancing, reading, writing and work hard towards it. It is not a competition to be good at something that is not your cup of tea. It is a competition to be a better version of something that is your forte. Yes, my personal favorite: Please listen to each & every line of ‘Hall Of Fame‘
How to Overcome Negative Insecurities?
Do you feel like you will always feel low about yourself for the whole life? Nay.
You are no less that what you believe you are.
Sit with yourself and understand yourself. Analyze what are you really good at. Analyze if you are competing for something which holds any value in your life. Do you know why they value you less? Because you value yourself less.
Example: Is your entire time being consumed in fulfilling your partner’s needs? Cooking, Laundry, Kids? Does your partner not contribute in any of these and it is only your duty? If yes, then sorry to say but you are a babysitter and not a partner. This sort of thing is bound to lower your value and cause insecurities in future run!
How do you expect to take care of everyone & everything around you if you do not take care of yourself first?
Put yourself first.
Take care of your needs. Make time for yourself, follow your passions & hobbies, have financial independence. Do not depend on anything or anyone but yourself for your happiness. No one in this world is born to control what you are and what you want to do. Be you.
Example: If you find yourself saying, “I’m okay with whatever you decide,” frequently, that is an indication that you are no more independent to make your own choice and place a firm foot for any decisions. You do not need to always oppose everything; however, you do not need to always agree if you do not want to.
Do you know which is the strongest feeling in this world? Your own gut feeling.
Do not ignore your inner voice when it strongly tells you about something. Identifying yourself is the first step to overcoming emotional insecurities. Trust yourself and you will surely walk on the path of confidence and growth.
Remember, none of us are perfect. Everyone is battling with their own issues. In this complicated world, let us make ourselves simple.
I hope this article has helped you and I request you to share it and help others in anyway possible.
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