“How do I fix my relationship or differences with my parents?”
“They never understand my side”
“All they want is to fulfill their dreams by killing mine”
“How do I talk to them?”
“They have killed my freedom”
“I want to pursue my passion but my parents aren’t allowing”
If you are familiar with these questions and statements, read further.
Indian Parents – They are too caring, provides too much and hence they become over protective directly or indirectly especially when we are in our 20s. They want to dictate our every decision of life be it our friends, our food choice, our dress, our way of speaking, our social standing, and now days even our updates of social media. And we, filled an over energetic youth blood, loves to fight with them, thanks to movies like Rockstar, Tamasha, 3 Idiots, etc. which motivated us to do same and we got the audacity to speak on their faces.
Things did change. You will see many people now following their passion and going against their Parents wishes and getting successful as well. But the problem sustain – Communication and Understanding Gap between you and your parents. And it is widening day by day.
How do we solve this? Let’s talk in pointers.
- You need to sit and think about their upbringing, the way they are wired and why they control you: They have grown and been wired in a certain way since their childhood which made them like this today. Maybe they have seen how life took bad turns on one of their friend who was a ‘free soul’ or they may have not been given adequate amount of pocket money which made them too miser today. It could be anything, Maybe your Mom had a bad breakup just before her marriage that’s why she is reluctant about the boy you are going out it or maybe you Dad failed thrice in his startup which makes it difficult of him to allow you to follow your passion. You need to understand their side. And the best way to understand it is to talk to them about their childhood memories and about your grandparents. 2-3 stories will define why they are like this. Empathy solves everything.
- Sometimes they do things out of love: I hate when my Mom offers me sweets. They are my weakness and I am on no sugar diet most of the time. But they do it out of love. The rare love which they got in their childhood because they couldn’t afford chocolates. Home made sweets were just made during festivals. They think why should their child suffer or eat food without sweets when they are earning well and settled in their lives.
- Sit and Talk to them or Add them as a Friend: My go to advice to a gap in any kind of relationship is to sit and talk. Communication solves everything. But sometimes you cannot, reasons being you stay far from your home. To solve this, add them on your social media. Don’t be that douchebag who blocks his or her own parents on platforms like Instagram and Facebook. Use social media to put out your views. They will read it. They will discuss about it with each other and they will also try understand you. It is a little long process but it works.
- Be Responsible: Indian Parents or Jordan Peterson or any good philosophical book or Bhagwad Geeta or Bible all want you is to be Responsible. The first and foremost example of your irresponsible life is your messed up or dirty room. Learn and be responsible. They will start understanding you better.
- Different Cases Different Solutions: Every person is different as well as your case. I would like you to DM me on my Instagram about your case and I would try to find a solution.