To Guys Struggling with Girls

There is a certain section of people who constantly message me on my Instagram and Twitter asking questions like :

  • “Bro how to get my dream girl?”
  • “How do I attract her?”
  • “I want to be famous among girls”
  • “How do I meet new girls?”
  • “Bro I am 25 and still haven’t had sex, help me”
  • “I think she is cheating, how do I question her”
  • “I feel nervous while approaching girls at gym/club/cafe”
  • Etc.

There are different solutions for different type of people and situations, I got some tips which with implementation, could help you to be normal with other sex. Though I am not guaranteeing anything or this is not a “7 din ladki in” guide and I do not endorse such things.

  1. Learn to be true to yourself: First and most important tip – always be true to yourself. There is a big problem with Men (or Boys) that they change or draft themselves into some other personality only when they are trying to woo a girl (or a woman). Please do not. Stop acting like someone which you are not. People sense your fake personality very quickly. Be the person you are. Be carefree. Be in the present. Do not try to become Hank Moody or Akshay Kumar, it will only increase your insecurities. (READ – I am not saying stop improving yourself, what I am saying is stop faking yourself)
  2. Stop being a Mr Nice Guy: Stop hiding your intentions, stop manipulating people into something, stop saying yes to everything, stop suffering from a nice guy syndrome. Those who have read No more Mr Nice Guy knows what I am talking about. And if you haven’t, buy this book right now and read it to improve yourself – https://amzn.to/2NDFgMY
  3. Learn to Control Your Emotions: See, an average social media justice warrior would debate endlessly 24/7 on why a man should be comfortable with showing his emotions. You would see many such posts on social media shared by women stating a man should cry or a man should be thanked for his contribution to society or man suffer a lot and what not – but guess what? When it comes to masculinity – one should take advice from other Men and when it comes to feminity – one should take advice from Women – as basic as it could be. No one likes a sissy boy. No one likes someone who is constantly crying because his ex left him or maybe because he saw something bad on the road while commuting to meet you. Yes, you are allowed to show emotions when your friend or your parent or your loved one is in trouble – but in a controllable way because you are the one who should stand strong when tough times are there. (READ – here emotion means anger, rage as well – learn to control them)
  4. Fix your physique: Body positivity movements and “I love the way I am” works only in theory or on social media. It won’t work when you are outside in the real world. So fix your shape. Lose that fat. Gain that muscle. Learn how to stand tall with shoulders back. Be athletic. Why? Basic science – Since the times of early civilization – women tend to find the mate who looks strong and agile. It is in their subconscious. They tend to mate with such strong personalities because only strong human being can protect them and their offsprings. You may find few people arguing over this on social media but we all know the truth.
  5. Stop being a creep or Frustrated beta chump – As a responsible and busy man you should not ever creep out a woman or make her uncomfortable in any way. Stop texting her when she is not interested or replying to your texts. Stop asking her about her whereabouts when she is not into you. The problem with guys is that they think they will ‘generate’ attraction towards them in the mind of a woman upon being rejected twice – which is not true. Real life ain’t Bollywood.
  6. Focus on Your Purpose: One of the biggest mistakes I have seen guys doing is that when they are attracted to someone, they put their entire focus on them, leaving important things like studies, job, work, etc aside, which is totally wrong and a big turn off for other sex. No one likes a man without a purpose in his life. I will soon post an article about ‘how to find your purpose’
  7. Be Light Hearted Person: Be the person who can take jokes upon himself. Be the person who is not raging all the time. Be the person who can have fun and make things light especially when the situation around him is tensed. Be the person who is not dependent on others for his happiness.
  8. Stop Watching Porn: Consumption of porn results in the objectification of other sex in your subconscious mind, which results in activities that are not good for making and sustaining new relationships.

 

These are just basics of how you can become an interesting person for other sex. There are many other things about such cases on which I will write soon with the time.

Many of you ask me to write from Girl’s perspective as well – I cannot. If you are interested, DM me. 

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