In the present times, Online Dating is playing a very big role in forming and breaking up relations. Since everybody owns a smart phone and has an access to the Internet, a boon in the dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Happn is observed, the popularity of which is ever increasing with time.Not only the metropolitans, but the people of small cities and towns are also looking out for hook-ups through the online dating apps. Such apps have certainly helped in connecting people and making the dating thing easy as well as interesting, but there is a downside to the online dating that nobody talks about. As users are approaching people through the online dating apps more rather than in real life like, in some café, bar, restaurant or social gathering, there is observed an increase in social anxiety and introversion in the personality of our generation.
Most of the times, users start talking to each other simply after looking at their basic profile- especially their physical looks and age. A few days later, they began to feel uninterested, and so, they stop talking to each other. It is very easy to ‘ghost’ people on these apps as a simple click can ‘block’ them out of your life. You can also talk to several people at once on these apps. The texting, messaging, etcetera are free of cost, and so you can talk for an unlimited duration of time on the various texting apps using your smart phone.
People, as a result, find online dating very easy and comfortable since the veil it offers, protects them from unnecessary awkwardness that is experienced in a face-to-face conversation/meeting.But it should be realized that more easy the things appear to be, more is the scope for future risks. Here, in the arena of online dating, the risks lie in trusting unknown people wholeheartedly, and ignoring the ‘red flags’ which eventually causing trouble to us. Moreover, since these apps provide a very small window to understand the personality of other people, it is difficult to find out about them completely. You can only see what they want to show you which leaves very little scope for finding out about the true identity of the users.
Just a short example: Link to jaipur’s tinder murder case
Also, when we get things easily, we stop respecting them and start expecting a lot from them. This is exactly what is happening in the case of Online Dating. Most of the times, users expect a lot from the people whose profile they right swipe, and feel unsatisfied when these people do not match even 50% of their expectations. Such things in the long run are harming the people of our generation which is reducing the dating apps to a negative idea rather than an advantageous one. It should be noted that it is in our hands to use a particular thing, especially technology to our advantage. By following a few guidelines, one can easily make a very good use of the Online Dating instead of being ‘used’ by it.
There are various observations that I have made while checking out the whole business of Online Dating in our generation that made me draft a few tips and warnings that one should keep in mind before using these apps. These are as follows:
- Always keep your own 2-3 pictures in your profile- one clicked in a long-shot that shows the status of your fitness and health, one selfie that highlights your facial features, and one that shows you performing some activity. Keep all these pictures in different clothes; maintaining a different background in each. It should not look like a photo shoot! Avoid group pictures because users swipe too fast on such apps; no one actually has the time to look inside your profile and try to spot you in the group picture. Also, if someone n your group comes across as better looking than you, they might right swipe you just to catch up with that person, which will ultimately lead to disappointments on your end.
- Please, stop replying to your ‘matches’ instantly. It is very irritating! Always take at least 2 to 5 minutes to reply. To be honest, people who reply instantly like, within 2 seconds, give a hint of joblessness to the opposite person. At the same time, do not take too much time in replying the other person. Try to appear chill and cool! That’s the important thing in online dating business.
- Accept the fact that the person you are about to meet in real life would be 30-40% less attractive, handsome or beautiful than he/she appears to be in his/her pictures. Camera angles and lightings, along with filters change the facial appearance of people to a great extent. Furthermore, everybody on Social Media wants to look good to garner attention, praise and validation. So, keep the bar of your expectations low or else you will gradually begin to hate the dating apps, solely because you are blind to the basic facts.
- “No Hookups” written in someone’s ‘bio’ or ‘about me’ is simply to avoid creeps and beta males. Except for 1-2% people, everybody uses online dating apps for hookups. It is just that, Are you attractive enough to make them crave? You may be for some who are within your league f not for all! If you are, things will eventually happen or else, the user would simple slap “no hookups” on your face. Do not take rejection to the heart. Try again!
- If a user has, “less active here, ping me on Instagram” written with the link of Instagram profile attached in his/her profile, he or she is here only to gain Instagram followers, and nothing more. Left swipe such people!
- Do not follow people on their social media accounts like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter without informing or asking them to provide you their profile link. Such an action s very creepy and will earn you a straightaway block with no congratulatory note. Avoid!
- Do not begin your chat with words like, “hy”, “wsup” or “hw are u?” as they appear cringeworthy and are a total turn-off. Spell your words correctly. Nobody uses SMS language anymore!
- Learn to make your ‘matches’ comfortable just like the way you would do if you meet someone in real life. Ask them about their work or something related to their pictures instead of things like, “How was your day?” Nobody wants your caring behaviour on such apps; people on such apps are grown up enough to take care of themselves.
- Once you manage to break the ice with your ‘match,’ and are interested to know more about him/her, add him/her on Social Media platforms like Instagram, and watch his/her Insta Stories, and ping accordingly. Do not expect nudes or sex chat in initial chatthing days. And if someone is offering it, be aware! It could be a scam or some weird ‘kink’ of maintaining a ‘wank bank’.
- If you manage to hook up with someone and get yourself involved in a one night stand, do not text them, “hows u,” “had food?” or “did u slept well?” the next Morning. DO NOT. Understand this: Whatever your orientation is, after a hook-up, people go to ‘guilt mode’ for a while which may range for a few hours, days or a week; it varies from person to person. They tend to ghost the other party for the same reason for some time. so, if you text the other person during that ‘guilt period,’ you will end up earning nothing but a ‘block.’ Avoid this, give the other person some space, and wait for him/her to solve his/her issues.
- If you are unhealthy, obese, or are a Social Justice Warrior, please do not get frustrated if you do not get matches. People on dating apps are looking out for people with whom they can chill and have fun, instead of comrades who are on a look out for a debate session on feminism or politics. Accept the fact and change yourself!
- Do not ask people if they are single. It is a very stupid question to ask anyway. He or she is on Tinder/Hinge/Bumble because he/she:
- is single
- or cheating
- or frustrated in the current relationship
- or just want to talk to someone for fun.
- Stay away from a combination of, I repeat, combination of pierced tongue + shaved head + face tattoos. They are troubled human beings who might initially look attractive but in the long run can come across as troublesome. Here is a fact: Outer appereances do say a lot about a person.
- Organize your first meeting in a public space. Always! Never ever go to their home or invite them to yours directly. Online business can be manipulative and risky. Look before you leap!
- Be humourous and witty in your statements. Be generous in compliments to your matches but do not sound creepy. Give genuine compliments in a subtle manner. Do not be over the top! Do not sound unnecessarily intellectual by talking about your job, pay scale and places you have traveled or explored or the number of movies/TV series you have watched. People on dating apps look out for people to chill with. So, be smooth and chill in your overall attitude and persona.
I sure hope these tips will benefit you and make your online dating experience advantageous and interesting. Drop in your comments for further enquiries. Have fun!